Sometimes, we’re not the perfect parents we aspire to be. Sometimes, we get headaches, lose our tempers, or have a rough day at work.
We need to forgive ourselves. Wouldn’t we forgive someone else?
We’re not perfect. We do make mistakes. But it’s not the mistakes that matter… it’s what we learn from them. Nobody out there is perfect.
There are nights, after going to bed, when I think, “wow, I didn’t spend enough time with my son today.” Or, “I shouldn’t have yelled at him… what was I thinking?”
And the guilt hits. And I promise myself that I’ll be better tomorrow.
Then, when tomorrow rolls around, we are better, aren’t we? Don’t we dedicate more time and energy to our kids? And lap up their smiles and glorious child-laughs? The day seems brighter, happier, and we – and our children – benefit.
As the parents of special-needs children, we can also blame ourselves for mistakes made long ago. Perceived mistakes. Did I eat right? Did I withhold treatment that should have been given years ago? Did I fail to get him/her diagnosed in time?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all drowned in guilt and sorrow. It’s rough having a child who is different, who needs extra care and help. And we look for causes, for reasons why this happened… and it’s so easy to blame ourselves.
It’s not your fault.
Regardless of why you think autism exists – there are hundreds of theories – or when you diagnosed your child, or what you did or didn’t do… you’re working hard now. You’ve stepped up. You are there for your child, and he/she knows deep down that he can count on you.
That’s an amazing gift.