The “Cool Points” System

A guidance counselor – whom I respect – shared her way of getting social appropriateness across to children.  She called it the Cool Point System.

Think about it; the cool kids – at least in elementary school – have skills.  They’ve learned how to fit in.  They don’t do things that irritate others, and specialize in making friends.  And they do it easily.

She then explains that these kids have built up their Cool Points, and haven’t lost any yet.  These are like invisible numbers that hover over everyone’s heads (think video games), from the coolest, most liked kid in the class to the least favored bully that everyone avoids.

For example, every time a person does something others don’t like – say, nose-picking, correcting others, or not respecting opinions – he/she loses Cool Points.  When they help out a friend or share, they gain points.

Most kids have a balance of Cool Points; everyone has odd little habits that may bother others, but they do enough in the way of good things that it equals out.  Their Cool Point total never drops into the red Danger! Danger! zone.

It can be hard to grasp that sharing and letting others go first can actually win respect and appreciation and be helpful in the long run.  But this system – broken down into numbers and cold hard facts – can help get across the idea.  It also gives the AS child a reason to study others and their behavior (if they have not yet begun to do this), and a motivation to stop an irritating mannerism.


About aspergerfamily3

Living in an Asperger's World, surrounded by a love of learning, interesting people, and daily challenges.
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