It’s completely natural to not want to share everything with your parents. Goodness knows, I was a sensitive child and hated sharing anything that painted me in less than a good light.
But, as parents of special needs children, we need information. Information is power. We can’t advocate properly for our kids if we’re missing vital bits of information, whether it’s good or bad.
Grades, for example. Quiz scores, late assignments, hands not being raised, whatever. If we don’t know what’s happening, then we’re caught flatfooted when a teacher calls and has “things to say” about our child. If we stand up and defend our children, or simply explain the motivations, then we need the facts or we lose credibility.
Okay, we might have been through this a few – only a few dozen – times. Life is what it is, and misunderstandings with teachers/administrators happen. Not everyone is familiar with Asperger’s Syndrome, and many parts of it – difficulty with understanding body language, tone of voice, and nuances – are beyond most people’s experience and hard to grasp at first.
Anyway, report cards were handed out a week or so ago at our school. My suspicions grew as I kept not seeing a report card. After asking about report cards for a few days, I finally confronted my son with the Family As A Team.
I guess that parents seem like the enemy too often. Our opinions are a little feared, and our kids don’t want us to be disappointed.
But the truth is that we are a team, and we only want to see our kids succeed. If grades are great, we celebrate. If they’re low, we only want to help raise them, by figuring out what the disconnect is, and what can be done.
He admitted that report cards had been handed out. I found it this morning, before school, in the front of his binder.
After so much drama and fear surrounding the progress report, he was too afraid to even look at it. So even he didn’t know what it said. My poor son.
Some days you lose. Some days are difficult.
And then some days – like this morning – you open the report card and see good grades and encouraging words. You share a laugh and feel like winners. Yes, there will be celebrating tonight.