They wanted to know all about my marriage.
Almost every single one of them was thrilled to meet someone married to a man with Asperger’s Syndrome. And they all wanted to know why I had made the choice I had.
Of course, it had nothing to do with me.
They were thinking of their sons. More specifically, of their sons’ future Of whether their child could ever find a spouse, or whether he (or she) would be destined for loneliness, due to social challenges.
It is a scary thought.
My mother-in-law even confided how relieved she was to see her son marry. Now, she could stop worrying about him so much. Now, she knew he’d be taken care of. He’d have family even after she was gone.
I had never thought so far, myself. I lack the foresight, or the planning, or am too lost in the present battles to think that far into the future.
But the other moms are there. They’re already worried about their child’s happiness and whether he/she will be able to enjoy a family and be taken care of later on.
I’m happy to say that, of course, people with social challenges – Asperger’s Syndrome or not – can still have beautiful souls, be fascinating conversationalists (maybe not conventional, but definitely fascinating to the right audience ), have shared interests, display wit, own a contagious smile, show engaging humor… the list goes on.
Love sees past little things.
So, happily, I can address this particular fear for the future. In a purely personal, unscientific way, that is.
Yes, I married a man with Asperger’s Syndrome. Willingly, even. And he’s a fascinating, brilliant individual. Just like so many of your sons – or daughters – will be one day.